Ayo! Welcome to the 19th installment of Happy Medium Club. TBH, we should call this volume Existentially Dreadful Medium Club. Consider this a reminder that you can be Happy and consumed with dread at the same time. Two things can be true!
On that note, skim through HMC: Volume 19 for musings about:
Peaking in middle school
Irrational fears
A family vacation somewhere in Sedona, Arizona
As always, we’d love it if you’d contribute to our collaborative playlist on Spotify. Enjoy! Embrace the dread but do NOT let it embrace you.
7th Grade
“My academic peak.”
Joel Moisa
I always felt like I hit my academic peak in the seventh grade. I earned an almost perfect score on my standardized science test, which is still one of the most notable accomplishments on my academic resume.
Then, that same year my English teacher handed back a paper I wrote, and she said: “This is one of the best papers I’ve ever seen, but you didn’t follow the writing prompt”. I got a C on that paper but I’ll never forget how oddly proud I was.
An incomplete list of irrational fears
“A big display of public affection.”
Dom Johnson and Dana Johnson
The world is filled with freaky things. Some things are freaky for valid reasons (vampire bats) and some things are freaky because our brains are broken. See below for examples of the latter from Dom and Dana.
A few irrational fears from Dom & Dana:
Dom 😳
Money laundering. It’s been explained to me several times in several ways but I do not understand money laundering. Don’t try and explain it to me. I watched Ozark (and mostly enjoyed it) but I still have no clue what money laundering is and I’m afraid I might accidentally do it.
Someone that I barely know will propose to me in public (in a big display of affection).
When I open the trunk of my car to put in the groceries, a bad guy will be hiding in there.
Dana 😬
Being approached by John Quiñones for obvious reasons.
Children pointing at me in public and the parent quickly putting their hand down. What’re they saying?
When I open any door to walk through, someone will be hiding in there.
Dom 😰
Really intense eye contact.
[redacted]
Birds of paradise doing their freaky little mating dances.
Birds that aren’t afraid of humans. Like, when I walk up to a bird, it should fly away. Not just stand there and post me up.
Leghorn Roosters.
Dana 😟
When people at a drive-thru window read the name on the card I give them and say, “We’ll have your food right out, Dana.”
Asking the waiter for ketchup.
Lizards.
Scary, right?
Good luck and be careful out there. And remember, nothing is scary if you’re scared of everything! Also, if you see John Quiñones…RUN.
NFL Water Cooler Small Talk
We hope you’ve been enjoying our NFL Water Cooler Small Talk Series. And if you’re not enjoying it, we hope you’ve been ignoring it! No hard feelings, bruvs.
We’re only a few weeks into the NFL season and it’s already been DRAMATIC. So we’ve got a lot to say—regarding Traylor Kift, Joey B, America’s Team, and beyond.
Check out Volume HMC’s NFL Water Cooler Small Talk Vol. 3. Yes, we know the name is a mouthful but it’s too late to go back. 👇
The Moisa Family Vacation (Somewhere in Sedona)
“Nature is beauty.”
Joel Moisa
Editor’s note: For this blurb, Joel only sent me (Dom) a link to download a bunch of pictures without any context or additional information. When I asked him for more details, he provided the responses below.
Location: I don’t remember the location haha
Occasion: Family Vacation
Camera: T51 Canon
Recommendations: Not really. The places around there kinda sucked. But nature is beauty.
Alright, that’s all the introduction we’re gonna get. So please enjoy some pictures taken by Joel Moisa somewhere in Sedona, Arizona.
Somewhere in Sedona…
If you want a closer look into the Moisa Family Vacation (somewhere in Sedona), Governor of Kindness Samantha Moisa captured some good shots, as seen in this swoon-worthy Instagram Reel.
Happy Bits
AKA stuff we like!
DIY Semi-Premium Ramen Noodles
Too sad or tired to put any effort into cooking? Still want to experience the flavor your beautiful face deserves? Spruce up your Instant Ramen with leftover teriyaki chicken from Panda Express. And if you’ve got a little extra energy to spare, throw in a chopped green onion and a fried egg. Low-effort, high-reward meal.
Scary Medium (Book) Club
Happy Halloween almost. Read “Out There Screaming: An Anthology of New Black Horror” — a collection of short stories curated by Jordan Peele. Dom and his new friend Keshia just started reading it and they’ll probably share some thoughts in an upcoming volume. BOO!!!
Period Stuff
We know what you’re thinking. Why the hell is period stuff in happy bits? WHAT JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PERIOD, YOU CAN’T BE HAPPY? Here are HMC’s recommendations for stuff that can potentially (no promises) make you happy when you’re experiencing menstruation.
Dual-Action Motrin with Tylenol: Dude, did you know this stuff even existed? It’s changed our lives.
Equate Ibuprofen PM: Get some sleep, bruv. (And opt for some comfy PJs, while you’re at it. This set is really comfortable!)
Summer’s Eve Daily Wipes for Sensitive Skin: Quick-drying. No yeast infections. No stinks. Just don’t flush, lol.
3-Level Booty Bands for Workout: We love these for low-impact lower-body workouts that alleviate stiffness and get blood flowing.
Heating pads from GOQOTOMO: For back pain relief!
Dr. Teal’s Menstrual Relief Bubble Bath: Great for cramps, body aches, and relaxation. But please make sure you’re staying hydrated.
Again, no promises.
Thank you!
We have so much fun writing Happy Medium Club. And the fact that people (like you) read it… well, it makes us emotional. We’ve said this many times and we will keep saying it! LOL (lots of love).
Siri, brainstorm Halloween party themes
holy crap I would hang those pics on my wall