Happy Medium Club: NBA Stuff
We love Luka and so do you!
Hello, it’s me Joel “No Middle Name” Moisa. TBH, I’ve felt too much like a “casual” to write anything about the NBA this year. But the finals are happening so why wouldn’t I shout out the NBA? Especially Luka Doncic.
With this in mind, please enjoy a few musings about:
Luka Doncic’s never-ending ascension
Luka Doncic in general
and Luka Doncic’s astrological chart (via Dom Johnson)
LUKA ASCENDING
Luka Doncic and the Mavs have surprised fans all over the world this season. Luka continues to wow the world and he might have enough to worry the Celtics, hopefully. The Celtics have their own set of stars that might have the chemistry to stunt the Mavs almost Cinderella story to the finals.
A tough game against the Celtics:
After a tough 105-98 loss on Sunday, they're down 2-0, and their usual fixes aren't enough. Boston isn’t giving them an inch. Even with the Celtics shooting a miserable 10 of 39 from three-point range, they dominated the paint, scoring at will. And Luka is blaming himself — even though he put up a fight with a 32-point, 11-rebound, 11-assist triple-double. But his teammates couldn’t keep up.
"My turnovers and missed free throws cost us the game," Doncic said, after joining the exclusive club of LeBron James, Charles Barkley, and Jerry West as the only players to notch a 30-point triple-double in a finals defeat. "I’ve got to be way better in those areas."
BLAH BLAH BLAH. STOP BEING RIDICULOUS, LUKA. YOU SCORED SO MANY POINTS IN THAT GAME. WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK OF YOURSELF, YOU FREAK!?
Dallas’s defense, which had been a fortress in the regular season, crumbled. Jayson Tatum, despite a rough shooting night, sliced through their defense, racking up 12 assists and exposing every crack.
Jason Kidd tried every trick in the book, rotating players like Josh Green and Jaden Hardy, and even gave Dante Exum a shot. Nothing stuck against Boston’s defense.
A few thoughts ahead of tonight’s Game Three…
As of right now, The Boston Celtics lead the Dallas Mavericks 2-0 in the 2024 NBA Finals.
Historically, only five NBA teams have won the Finals after trailing 2-0, making it a tough challenge for the Mavericks.
The series is moving to Dallas. This change might benefit the Mavericks, as they typically perform better at home.
Irving and Doncic MUST adjust their gameplay to counter Boston’s defense.
The Mavericks need to dig deep, slow the game’s tempo, and reignite Irving’s magic, while the Celtics just need to keep riding their disgusting wave of talent and chemistry.
In the tough Finals environment, the Mavericks are realizing that defeating a team like Boston requires more than individual brilliance. Irving and Doncic understand this and remain determined to fight on.
FOUR REASONS JOEL MOISA LIKES LUKA DONCIC
He’s a dawg.
He’s really good at creating space for himself.
He’s an elite scorer.
It looks he wants to win and prove to other players that he’s one of the greatest players to ever play.
THE ALLEGED ASTROLOGY OF LUKA DONCIC
Dom Johnson
Here’s a partial reading of Luka Doncic’s birth chart by your third-favorite amateur astrologer: me.
Luka Doncic was born in Ljubljana, Ljubljana, Slovenia on February 28, 1999. I couldn’t find his birth time online — so this chart reading is incomplete. Without an accurate birth time, I can’t identify his rising sign which is an essential part of every birth chart (it relates to a person’s point of view, how other people perceive them, and more existential stuff).
Also, I think it’s kind of impolite to read someone’s chart without their permission. So, Luka, if you ever read this, I’m sorry! I’ll make it up to you by playing a game of 1-on-1 basketball. And I’ll sign one of your jerseys.
I don’t know much about the NBA, but I really wanted to feel included so I’ve tried to interpret Luka’s chart through the lens of basketball.
Luka’s Astrological Stats
Sun in Pisces: A dreamer. An empath. A man of the people. He’s gonna use intuition — both on and off the court — and he’s probably gonna cry about it. Which is perfectly fine!
Moon in Leo: Emotionally warm and sunshine-y. Pretty expressive. Pretty dramatic. Thrives on validation, attention, and affirmation.
Mercury in Pisces: Your communication style is imaginative and intuitive. You excel in abstract thinking and artistic expression, favoring creativity over strict logic.
Venus in Aries: A thrill-seeking lover. Bold. Passionate. Hot, no offense.
Mars in Scorpio: Oh, looky here, we’ve got ourselves a STRATEGIST! This is a spooky and formative placement. Someone with this stat will either: (1) fearlessly lead you into battle or (2) throw sand in your eyes during a simple sparring session. Or maybe both. And that is very cool to me.
Jupiter in Aries: Loves to grow, personally. Optimistic about the future. Works towards his goals with enthusiasm and energy. Blah, blah, blah! (Jupiter, astrologically speaking, is way too positive for me sometimes. Get over yourself, Jupiter!)
The following placements are more indicative of Luka’s generation, rather than his essence — since it takes many years for Saturn, Uranus (lol), Neptune, and Pluto to orbit the sun. With a quick Google search, you can find an abunance of interpretations about how these placements impact their respective generations. So to avoid being redundant, I’m gonna interpret them through hypothetical locker room speeches from Luka himself.
Astrological Locker Room Speeches…
Saturn in Aries: “Gentleman, I’m going to be honest. We are not meeting the expectations we’ve set for ourselves out there on the court. We’re letting each other down. So let’s get back out there and SOAR LIKE THE MIGHTY KINGS WE ARE. I DON’T WANNA HEAR ANY EXCUSES! YOU’RE BETTER THAN EXCUSES. GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME.”
Uranus in Aquarius: “You know what?! It’s time to the playbook in the trash can and focus on honing our collective good vibes and optimizing the essence of our one-of-a-kind team spirit. And if I haven’t already mentioned it, Happy Pride!"
Neptune in Aquarius: “When you get their on the court, fellas, I want you to achieve your wildest dreams! I want you to help each other! Don’t get me wrong! It’s important that you win! But PLEASE have fun while you’re doing in.”
Pluto in Sagittarius: “Hey guys. After last week’s defeat, I’ve thought a lot about basketball and life and love and death. And I realized the only way we will win is if we leave it all on the court. Let’s doings something unbelievable out there tonight. Because if we don’t win I’m not going to speak for 17 days.”
Can someone with an intimate knowledge of both basketball and astrology tell me if I got this right?
Thanks!
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