Hello, scholars! Welcome to Happy Medium Club: Volume 12.
Today, we’re talking about:
Toothaches and the infinite power of Tylenol 3
Shopping for cars while being in love with your favorite person in the entire universe
Dom-approved tactics to give your brain little boosts of dopamine
Let us know what you think!
The Toothache Saga
“The universe dealt me a cruel hand with what was truly one of the most painful experiences of my life, including childbirth.”
By Samirah
My family has been plagued with a series of unfortunate ailments week after week—basically since my son started daycare in December. So, I’m not entirely surprised that when Spring break finally came around for my husband, and we had plans for several fun family outings, something else got in the way.
Not to be petty like this, but usually, when one of us is sick, we all get it. So, I never really feel alone and bitter about being down for the count. One thing about me, I don’t like when others are having a good time without me, and I’m the first to admit it!
But this time, the universe dealt me a cruel hand with what was truly one of the most painful experiences of my life, including childbirth.
Background
Just to be clear, there are no lessons learned or forewarnings for you coming out of this story. This is entirely just me complaining for several paragraphs.
My husband (a dentist) would probably want me to use this space to enlighten you on preventative dental care, but I won’t be doing that at the risk of revealing anything negative about myself or my own dental hygiene.
Last Saturday, as Dylan and I were on a flight back from Denver, I noticed a dull pain in my left lower molar.
By the way, I have no knowledge of dentistry, so I will not be using or making an effort to use proper clinical terminology.
Anyway, I was chewing gum, as one does during a flight’s descent, and felt the pain grow more intense. This pain didn’t necessarily surprise me. It’s come and gone without causing many issues over the past 3 years.
Chapter 1
You see, 3 years ago, I had a root canal on a tooth that had been chipped for a pretty long time. I chipped the tooth when I was about 16 years old because I thought I was cool for demanding my bacon only be cooked “extra crispy.” Ironically, this was followed by a phase in which I insisted on not eating pork because I saw a sad tweet thread about how smart pigs are. 🙁
After this root canal, I had a crown put on the tooth and went on my way. I went back to the dentist once more to get the crown adjusted. It made me sore right away and didn’t quite feel like it fit right. After the dentist smoothed it down, it felt fine, and I was ready to move on with my life.
Chapter 2
The day after our trip, the pain intensified and made it difficult for me to eat. My parents were in town visiting, and I purposely downplayed the pain because I hate when my mother asks me if I’m okay. More specifically, I hate admitting to her when I’m not okay unless it’s something I intentionally want to garner sympathy for! Like I could be bleeding from the head, and I would look her dead in the eyes, annoyed as hell, and tell her I’m totally freaking fine and why are you even asking, why are you so obsessed with me, you crazy lady.
At this point, I’m rotating Tylenol/Ibuprofen, and the pain persists throughout the day, mostly dull but sharp at times. I decide I probably need to see a dentist sometime over the next week, but the situation doesn’t necessarily feel like an emergency.
My husband, who actually assisted with my original root canal, thinks the crown is too high and I might be clenching my teeth in my sleep. He picks me up some Orajel and an over-the-counter mouthguard from Target. This provides momentary relief. However, by Monday morning, the pain is a 7/10, and not going away with pain medication. By the time my dentist appointment rolls around on Tuesday, the pain is an 8. I can barely eat, and I begin to feel pain in my jaw and cheeks.
Chapter 3
The bad news comes: my dentist thinks my tooth is reinfected. The crown didn’t fit right, and because of this, I had an infection that was spreading in my mouth, potentially down to the nerve.
The truly bad news? I wasn’t getting any relief any time soon. The dentist had to refer me to a specialist for the retreatment. Then, I had to return to the dentist for a new crown.
He prescribed me Tylenol 3 (you can Google this) and Amoxicillin which I started taking the next day.
At first, I didn't really notice any improvement in the pain. In fact, It got worse.
I woke up wincing in pain, my head is throbbing, and my gums are inflamed. Everything hurts. Badly. I’m also experiencing a COVID-like brain fog.
I considered going to the ER, but I didn’t want to risk them simply extracting my tooth.
Chapter 4
The next morning, I up the Tylenol dosage, and things get weird, as evidenced by this hella noncoherent message I sent my husband that I don’t even remember.
At this point, I’m technically high on Tylenol 3, drifting in and out of sleep, working (lol, America), and simultaneously trying to be a mom to both my real son and Dom (?).
I also began the process of making homemade horchata, which I only know because I saw the soaking rice milk in the fridge the next day.
I drive myself to the dentist that afternoon (????), where I’m told that I can’t get an appointment for the retreatment until Friday afternoon. Fine, but while the medical assistant is talking to me, I’m starting to feel so much head and mouth pain that I’m getting dizzy.
Things are starting to look fuzzy. I’m getting lightheaded. I have to sit on the floor and put my head on my knees, which is embarrassing, but worse than fainting.
I can’t even really remember what the assistant is saying at this point, but I heard her call ask the doctor what else they can give me for the pain, and he essentially says nothing.
Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhaha, ok!
Before I get back on the road to go home, I sit in my car, until I fully regain my consciousness. I’m trying to do the responsible thing and not drive while high on my own pain and embarrassment!
I stop at Burger King to get some fries and a hamburger that I mush together with ketchup. All of this is fuzzy, but again, I’m piecing the narrative together based on the BK remnants I saw when I woke up from my nap later that afternoon.
In Conclusion
I am writing about this saga while awaiting my procedure this afternoon. Still in significant pain, but managing, I guess.
I am fully expecting my life to change for the better today.If it doesn’t, I really don’t know what I will do. I’d categorize my current contentment with life at a 3/10 right now. This toothache has already taken so much from me.
I have nothing left to give.
To summarize, I take perfect care of my teeth. This is a freak occurrence and says nothing about me as a person and my behaviors at all.
Please feel sorry for me and/or pray to your god for my healing so I can snacky wacky in a state of peace (high) tonight.
The Crushing Weight of Car Shopping
“If any of y'all have a Cadillac CTS-V they'd like to gift me, please come forward.”
By Joel Moisa
My wife (who is a saint) recently reminded me that she hates my car because it's not practical and has an obnoxious red color that seemed like a good idea in 2019 when I was desperately looking for a car I would enjoy driving.
I drive a 2014 Ford Focus ST, which has served me well and has caused me no issues.
The Search Begins
I must keep my wife happy— so I am considering trading in my car for something more practical and comfortable, like with heated seats or something.
FOR WEEKS, I have been researching cars for weeks and watching car reviews on Throttle House, a Canadian Youtube channel focused on car reviews, track tests, and racecar builds. I've spent hours on dealership websites filtering through cars I could see my wife and me driving.
Different Preferences
Finding the perfect car has been a challenge because Sam and I couldn't be more different on the topic of dream cars.
Her dream car is a 2018 Subaru Forester, which she proudly owns and loves. On the other hand, I have a long list of dream cars.
Our ideal car:
It has good mileage
It doesn’t break the bank
It isn’t a truck but it has decent cargo space.
I am not interested in an SUV or a hatchback, but I do love the Subaru Outback. However, I have been encouraged to keep a sportier car in the family.
Top Picks
The crushing weight of this challenge has brought me to the following list of my current dream cars.
Honda Accord Sport 2.0T
It has to be the 2.0 Turbo. If not, I don't want it. A front-wheel-drive car with Apple Car Play, and a turbo! Affordable, and a Honda! Certified family car for years and years! Samantha has given me the stamp of approval.
Kia K5 GT
It has to be the GT (so I can get the turbo). Another front-wheel-drive sedan that has a turbo attached so I can overtake the minivans at red lights. Unfortunately, Kia has given almost every GT trim a really gross red leather interior.
But it’s still in the running because my wife has also shown some interest in this car.
2014 Ford Focus ST
Lastly—and the option that makes the most sense — is a red 2014 Ford Focus ST. AKA, the car I currently own. Hear me out, lol.
I have already paid half of it all, and the responsible thing to do is to drive it to the ground until I actually need a different car. It has no Apple Car Play or heated seats, but at least I won't have to take out another loan.
In conclusion
I’ll keep you all updated on the search! If any of y'all have a Cadillac CTS-V they'd like to gift me please come forward. 🥲
Semi-Effective Tactics to Potentially Boost Your Dopamine
“I’m not a doctor.”
By Dom Johnson
A few years ago, Silicon Valley tech bros were doing a thing called “dopamine fasting.
This involved temporarily abstaining from dopamine-stimulating activities such as social media, television, fast food, hippity-dippity, and other pleasurable experiences. The purpose of this trend was to interrupt the constant flow of dopamine and prevent a reduced pleasure response over time.
If it sounds dodgy, it’s because it is dodgy.
Although dopamine-fasting proponents believe that it’s possible to "reset" the brain's reward system and increase sensitivity and enjoyment of everyday experiences, there’s limited scientific evidence to support its effectiveness. In fact, it can be kinda dangerous.
No worries, Silicon Valley tech bros. I’ve got you.
Stick around for some low-effort, medium-reward tactics you can use to boost your mood and productivity throughout your day.
Dopamine—who is she?
Let's talk about dopamine — the "feel-good" neurotransmitter that keeps us going. Dopamine is a cute little chemical that helps boost our mood, concentration, and motivation in our cute little brains.
Without enough dopamine, even the most mundane tasks become an uphill battle. Who wants to read an email about expense reports when you’re feeling low on dopamine?
When we experience something that feels rewarding, our brains release dopamine. Dopamine reinforces our behavior and motivates us to keep seeking out those same rewarding experiences.
Unfortunately, low dopamine levels can lead to feelings of apathy, lethargy, and difficulty concentrating. And if you're someone with ADHD (like myself), whose dopamine levels are already lower than average, it can be even more of a struggle.
If I had a nickel for every time someone suggested cardio to boost my mood, I'd have one nickel (courtesy of my therapist). Sure, it's sound advice and it’s famously effective, but who wants to run on a treadmill when you can't even be bothered to change out of your sweatshirt that's currently got a Milk Dud stuck to it?
That's why I've created my own proprietary Happy Little Life Hacks for folks with Milk Duds stuck to their clothes.
Happy little life hacks
Check out these three somewhat-effective life hacks you can incorporate into your daily routine with minimal effort and marginal benefits. But hey, every little drop of dopamine counts.
Let’s get into it.
1. Trade in your digital to-do list for an index card.
Does it feel like you’re constantly racing against the clock to complete your daily tasks? Before you beat yourself up about your time management skills, let’s take a cute little step back.
If you’re building personal your to-do list in something like Google Sheets or an online task management program—consider going analog.
I showed my therapist my conditionally formatted to-do list in Google Sheets. She gasped. And then she suggested opting for index cards instead. They're finite, small, and easy to crumble amid fits of rage.
Disclaimer: This tactic works wonders IF you’re willing to commit.
For a while, it was going well for me. Eventually, I succumbed to the temptation of Google Sheets. Now, I have a half-baked digital to-do list and a desk buried underneath 420,069 sticky notes.
One of them says, "Charlie likes Bossa Nova." I don't even know anyone named Charlie. In short, proceed with caution.
Not a strong start, I know. The next hack is fool-proof though!
2. Take notes with a giant Sharpie
If you're someone, like me, who struggles with taking concise notes, this life hack might be for you.
I’m often tempted to capture every word during meetings, lectures, or presentations. This is obviously a futile attempt.
Taking notes on a sticky pad or a giant Sharpie forces me to be concise, focus on the big picture, and only capture the essential information.
Plus, Sharpies smell good! Really good!!!
I stole this idea from Ali Abdaal, a YouTuber who specializes in productivity. He scares the hell out of me, but he's got some good ideas. Check out his channel for more productivity tips.
3. Read boring stuff in cute little voices
If you're reading something long and tedious, try reading it in someone else's voice. I recommend choosing the voice of somebody who is cool and not boring.
For example, I often read in Claire Ferguson's voice because she is cool and not boring. Consider the following personas as well:
Pretty much every character in Ted Lasso
You can even just dial up your vocal fry. Keep simple. The strategy is to squeeze as much fun as humanly possible out of the world’s most boring emails.
This tactic has been the most effective of my semi-effective life hacks. Not only does it boost my dopamine, but it also helps me recall information that would usually go over my head. Try it out.
4. Pretend like you are in a music video.
This tactic is reserved for bad days. If your having trouble getting your stuff down because the task at hand is making you angry, sad, bored, frustrated, or whatever—just pretend like you are performing anger, sadness, etc.
Let’s say you’re reading a stupid email from a coworker who gets under your skin.
First, turn on a song that embodies the specific flavor of anger coursing through your veins. I’ll go with Vigilante Shit by Taylor Swift for this exercise.
Now, go back to your email. While you’re reading the stupid email, I want you to exaggerate the scowl on your face. Embrace it. Imagine Steven Spielberg is zooming in on your eyes—make sure you get that wrinkle in between your furrowed brows. Make it cinematic.
And while you’re at it, nod to the beat. Do an angry dance at your desk. Pace around your apartment.
Just remember, while you might actually be frustrated, in this instant, you’re merely pretending to be frustrated. For a moment, you are a happy person who is pretending to be a mad person.
This tactic works for boredom (ex: listen to Claire de Lune while you file your taxes), stress (listen to the Mission Impossible theme while rushing against a deadline), or whatever!
I am unsure if this is sound advice or significantly toxic, but it works for me. So proceed with caution or whatever.
Like all the other happy little life hacks in this list, pretending you’re in a music video is fun. And fun equals dopamine
If you ever see me melodramatically scowling under a pair of noise-canceling headphones while I pace around my room, you know why.
5. Stop holding your breath while reading emails.
You may be familiar with sleep apnea, a disorder that causes a person's breathing to repeatedly cease and resume while sleeping. Have you heard of her little sister? Email Apnea.
The term, coined by former Apple exec Linda Stone, refers to the tendency to unconsciously hold your breath while checking emails or using devices. It’s usually associated with stress and anxiety—both as a cause and an effect.
James Bridle—one of my new favorite writers—discusses email apnea in an essay about how big tech companies use tricky tactics to keep us distracted. He cautions how email apnea often “triggers a fight-or-flight response, raises stress levels, and degrades decision-making.”
On the other hand, deep breathing can help stimulate the release of dopamine in the brain—promoting relaxation and reducing stress.
****Please stop holding your breath at your desk.***
If you find yourself getting light-headed after an intense email session, take a break. Do some breathing exercises. Rest your eyes. Do yoga. Meditate. Quit your job. Whatever it takes, do not let Microsoft Outlook steal your oxygen.
In Conclusion
I hope these happy little life hacks make a marginal impact on your valiant journey toward self-actualization. Remember, the effort and benefit of these life hacks may be minimal, but every little bit counts.
Try them out and see if they help spark joy and motivation in your daily routine.
And hit me up if you want more hacks. I’ve got more trips up my sleeve, from Eucalytpus incense cones to covert scavenger hunts you can play during Zoom conference calls.
Happy Bits
(Curated by Sam)
Drew Barrymore launched a Beautiful (& practical) kitchen appliance line at Walmart, and it made us love her more. (*Joel & Sam have her coffee maker & toaster in White Icing! And Dom has her coffee maker! Joel bought it for him!)
Who wins the Oscars’ best-dressed? Camp Boring or Camp Bonkers?
Did you know Michael B. Jordan is a fellow anime fan? Creed III final fight scene paid homage to classics like “One Piece,” “Naruto” and “Dragon Ball Z.
The easiest Hawaiian Roll Ham Sliders to impress your guests.
I would absolutely live in Roku City
Thanks for reading!!!
Go forth and conquer! Be nice! See you soon!