Happy Medium Club: Volume 9
“Seriously, thanks.”
Hi friends! Welcome to Happy Medium Club Volume 9. This will—famously—be our last volume before an extended hiatus. We’re going on a Happy Medium Club corporate retreat to plan the next steps on our journey toward world domination. Stay tuned!
In the meantime, here’s what we’re talking about in Volume 9.
Joel Moisa discusses the best wide receiver in the NFL
Dom & Hannah rank Taylor Swift’s studio albums
Emily Ann launches us into orbit via poetry
Dom & Joel are grateful
Justin Jefferson: The Best Wide Receiver in the NFL
“One of the best to ever do it.”
By Joel
As you all may know, I am a Vikings fan, and my favorite player is Justin Jefferson (aka JJettas), who also happens to be the best wide receiver in the league.
For the last few weeks, I have been trying my best not to spam the newsletter with JJettas propaganda until now. This season is too good not to write about, and I hope to see him finish among the top three in MVP voting. As a 23-year-old, he has what it takes to become one of the greatest wide receivers of all time.
Barring any off-field drama or injuries, Jefferson is proving he can solidify his name as one of the best to ever do it.
JJettas is the perfect security blanket for Kirk Cousins, who is an above-average quarterback who falls apart when the pocket collapses around him. Jefferson’s fellow wide receivers/tight ends also benefit from his talent and skill. If the game is on the line, he’s getting double coverage and will have a third defender in the area.
Even with two or three people covering him, he is still a legitimate threat to catch the ball. This sets up his teammates for routes where they face more cushion as the defense focuses on him. We've seen how KJ Osborne and TJ Hockenson benefit from playing alongside Jefferson.
JJettas hopes to be the first wide receiver to eclipse 2,000 yards in a single season with two games left in the season (which is one more than Clavin Johnson had when he set the record in 2012, as the NFL added another game in 2021).
JJettas is only 23 years old and has so much more to give the league. JJettas currently leads the league in receiving yards, catches, and is tied for 5th in TD. Barring any off-field drama or injuries, Jefferson is proving he can solidify his name as one of the best to ever do it. If you're reading this and you have an NFL MVP vote, please vote for Jefferson.
Dom & Hannah spent several hours ranking all of Taylor Swift’s albums
Using a proprietary algorithm developed by Hannah Imhoff.
By Dom & Hannah
As of the time of this writing, Taylor Swift has released 12 studio albums comprised of 190 songs. We’re looking at a runtime of 12 hours and 31 minutes, which could double by the time we publish this volume.
Taylor Swift is unhinged, and she will not stop making stuff—including films, apparently.
Hannah Imhoff, a friend of Happy Medium Club, and I are also unhinged. For no reason at all, we spent a troublesome amount of time ranking each track on each album.
Methodology
Rather than simply listing our favorite songs or albums, Hannah developed a system that separates each song into tiers.
Step 1: Narrow down each album to your top 14 songs (to create equally sized data sets).
Step 2: Rank each album’s tracklist from favorite to least favorite. Each row will function as a tier.
Step 3: This step is a little complicated. Looking at the spreadsheet horizontally, all tier-one songs stand against each other. Each song earned between 1-10 points, based on a color-coded key.
This process repeated for all 14 lines until every earned song was assigned a value. Once this was completed, the points were added up, and the album with the highest total was deemed the favorite, and the album with the least amount of points was deemed the weakest, with every other album falling in between
The results were illuminating, surprising, and friendship-threatening. Check out our commentary, below. Or violently scroll to the next blurb if you’re tired of reading about Taylor Swift.
SELF-TITLED (DEBUT)
Hannah’s Ranking: 9th Place | 27 points
Sweet baby chicken, Debut. The girly that started it all. She is beauty, she is grace, but she is NOT Miss United States.
While the debut gave us absolute ICONS like “Teardrops On My Guitar,” and “Picture To Burn,” I think it’s safe to assume that whether you’re an early adopter or late-in-life Swiftie, we’ve all moved on from the messages sung about here.
This album was everything to 12-year-old Hannah, but 12-year-old Hannah thought the sky was falling if a guy didn’t feel the same way about her. Now, 16 years later, most of Taylor’s fans are looking to dig into something with a little more substance. So. I see you. I love you, Debut, but it’s time we move on.
Dom’s Commentary: 10th Place | 7 points
I’m grateful for the historical impact. That’s all I have to say!
FEARLESS (TAYLOR’S VERSION)
Hannah’s Ranking: 4th Place | 63 points
I think it’s safe to say that after this exercise, I definitely have a preference for older Taylor songs that held on to her country roots before she switched and went full pop. Fearless gave us songs like “You Belong With Me,” “Today Was A Fairytale,” and “Love Story.” When it came to my rankings, I tended to pick songs like “You’re Not Sorry,” “Change,” and “That’s When,” all fitting into those two specific categories that I tend to really sink into: relatable heartstring tugs and breakup vibes.
Dom’s Ranking: 9th Place | 21 points
History-making! Great! Good! But it’s not really my cup of tea. Except for Hey Stephen. And White Horse. And Forever and Always. And The Best Day. And Fifteen. And You Belong With Me. And Breathe. And You’re Not Sorry. And Forever and Always (Piano Version).
SPEAK NOW
Hannah’s Ranking: 1st Place | 90 points
My baby. My pride and joy. The love of my life. No one will ever understand me the way Speak Now understood 16-year-old Hannah. This album doesn’t have a skip. It brought us iconic hits such as “Mean,” and “Dear John.” It also brought me my two favorite songs Taylor Swift has ever written…I’m looking at you “Long Live” and “Haunted.”
Let’s take a step back, put on our bifocals and evaluate five topics/songwriting techniques explored on the album:
Breakup vibes: Back to December, Last Kiss.
Gushy Love Songs: Mine, Sparks Fly, Superman.
Talk Shit Get Hit [Vocally]: Calling out Kanye West in “Innocent.” Calling out the critics who always had something negative to say about her. Better Than Revenge, where she, in Hayley Williams' Misery Business fashion, name-calls Camilla Belle for stealing Joe Jonas away from her. Arguably the most famous clap-back song, Dear John.
Storytelling: This is relayed perfectly in the title track, “Speak Now,” where Swift sings about a girl who speaks out at a wedding.
Relatable Heartstring Tugs (my personal favorite songwriting technique): Long Live” and “Never Grow Up.”
For me, this album is a 10/10.
Dom’s Ranking: 7th Place | 22 points
I skip most of the songs on the album because I don’t like pop-country music. I’m sorry Hannah!
To be clear, Taylor deserves a Nobel Peace prize for singlehandedly writing this album, especially this early in her career. And it’s got some of my favorite songs of all time, like “Ours” and “Dear John.”
But, I can’t even name half the songs on the album because I forgot about them immediately after listening to them. It’s not my fault! It’s not Taylor’s fault! It’s nobody’s fault!
RED (TAYLOR’S VERSION)
Hannah’s Ranking: 2nd Place | 80 points
Red was the HARDEST album for me to rank initially because there are SO many songs connected to this time period. When Taylor re-recorded the album, she brought out songs from the vault that solidified the importance of this album even more with brilliant tracks like “I Bet You Think About Me,” featuring Chris Stapleton, and “All Too Well (10 Minute Version).”
I already got some pushback from Dom for excluding “State of Grace” from my top 14. But let me make this clear, when I listen to these albums, the songs that relate to me are going to be the heavy songs, the songs that I call the “relatable heartstring tugs.” Very rarely does a gushy love song become a top player for me.
This album was very heavy in relatability with songs like “Forever Winter,” “Ronan, and “Nothing New.”
Dom’s Ranking: 4th Place | 69 points (lol)
Each song on this album does exactly what it needs to do.
For example, “All Too Well” teleports my fragile soul into another dimension where the rivers are made out of maple lattes, and everybody is sad but in a fun way. “State of Grace” reaffirms my belief in the supernatural power of love. “We Are Never Getting Back Together” amplifies my bad personality.
Red was a career-defining demonstration of Taylor’s ability to explore any genre. This Rolling Stone article explains it well. I love Red. The critics love Red. The fans love Red. The world. Loves. Red. Red. Red.
1989
Hannah’s Ranking: 7th Place | 44 points
Here’s where things start getting touchy. Most Taylor Swift fans weren’t early adopters. A lot, like Dom, came on board during her Reputation era, so they’re used to her pop sounds. I, as an early adopter, struggled to hang on when she made the switch, and this was clearly shown in my rankings.
While 1989 provided us with recognizable jams like “Blank Space” and “Out Of The Woods,” it doesn’t have any immensely relatable songs for me. Most of the songs on this album are mediocre at best unless you’re going through a breakup or a blossoming relationship.
Dom’s Ranking: 5th Place | 64 points
Hannah—when you’re delusional, like me, you’re always going through a breakup or a blossoming relationship.
This album rocks.
Named after Taylor’s birth year, 1989 explores the chaos of growing into adulthood, defining the terms of your own life, reevaluating your identity, relationship, etc.
For example, check out this excerpt from a GQ article, where Swift discussed the inspiration behind Blank Space.
“Some of the things I write about on a song like ‘Blank Space’ are satire…You can write things like ‘I get drunk on jealousy.’
That is not my approach to relationships. But is it cool to write the narrative of a girl who’s crazy but seductive but glamorous but nuts but manipulative?
That was the character I felt the media had written for me, and for a long time I felt hurt by it. I took it personally. But as time went by, I realized it was kind of hilarious.
1989 is a masterpiece.
REPUTATION
Hannah’s Ranking: 10th place | 19 points
I have shaky hands while I type this because I can feel Dom lurking over my shoulder at my reaction to this album. Quite frankly, I think it sucks. I respect and LOVE seeing Taylor in her vigilante villain era, but this album did absolutely NOTHING for me. The vibes of Reputation just don’t hold a candle to the other albums.
Sorry, Dom, but I’m not sorry. Add me to your list of names, in red, underlined.
Dom’s Ranking: 2nd place | 81 points
I’ve added Hannah to my list of names, in red, underlined.
LOVER
Hannah’s Ranking: 8th Place | 39 points
Lover is another one of those albums that I listen to and am just like “Uhhhhh, okay.” While songs like “The Archer” and “Soon You’ll Get Better” give me that itch I’m always looking to scratch musically, most songs on the album are nothing special. And I honestly don’t have much more to say about it.
Dom’s Ranking: 6th Place | 59 points
Lover has some of my favorite songs of all time, “Paper Rings,” and “False God.” However, it’s got a steep tracklist, and I’m hitting that skip button semi-frequently.
With that said, I’m surprised this album didn’t earn more points for me. At the end of the day, if you ask me to compare my favorite Lover tracks (False God, Archer, Paper Rings), with my favorite tracks on Folkore or Reputation.
FOLKLORE
Hannah’s Ranking: 6th place | 58 points
Folklore had two big players in its tracklist — “this is me trying” and “my tears ricochet.” “this is me trying” really gets to me,” as it’s immensely relatable.
You also have tracks on this album, like “epiphany” and “exile” that provide the relatability I crave when listening to her music. This is why I’m confident in placing Folklore in the middle of the pack. It’ll never beat the classics like Fearless, Speak Now, and Red, but it paves its own path as a recent addition to her discography.
Dom’s Ranking: 1st place | 86 points
This album is a masterpiece.
EVERMORE
Hannah’s Ranking: 5th Place | 61 points
Before I did this exercise, I had always assumed that Evermore and Folklore were the bottoms of the pack for me, but I never really sat and listened to the tracks in depth before this.
It opened my eyes, and I was pleased to find that most songs on these albums fit the formula that I gravitate to. Evermore ranked slightly above Folklore because of songs like “evermore,” “Marjorie,” “champagne problems,” and “coney island.”
Dom’s Ranking: 7th Place | 48 points
In my opinion, evermore has higher highs than folklore (Cowboy Like Me, Champagne Problems), but it also has lower lows (‘Tis the Damn Season, Closure). I love both albums—but if I’m ranking the sisters against each other—folklore is more cohesive and consistent.
MIDNIGHTS
Hannah’s Ranking: 3rd Place | 66 points
In a surprising turn of events, Midnights came in at third for both myself AND Dom, so in all our differences we were able to find a relatable point.
Now, when it comes to ranking the songs on Midnights, that’s an entirely different story that we attempted to hash out in HMC Vol. 7. Go check it out if you haven’t already.
Midnights, for me, had a lot of middle-of-the-pack rankings, with a couple of outliers such as Maroon getting the number 1 pick.
Dom’s Ranking: 3rd Place | 76 points
When this album dropped, I listened to it from 11 PM to 2 AM. Then I took a quick nap. Woke up around 4 AM. And then, I listened to it from 4:05 AM to 10 PM. On repeat. It’s very good.
Since we already shared a track-by-track ranking in Vol. 7, I won’t get into the details here.
But I will say: There’s something so life-giving about Taylor Swift, Jack Antonoff, Zoe Kravits, Sounwave, Jahaan Sweet and Sam Dew sitting around a table and riffing off others as they build a masterpiece in real-time.
In Conclusion
Dom and Hannah have nothing in common, but they’re still friends for now.
It’s noteworthy that they’re both obsessed with Taylor Swift for completely different reasons. Taylor contains multitudes. She can do anything she wants because she’s a genius and a Sagittarius.
Dom and Hannah spend too much time thinking (and writing) about Taylor Swift. If you’re one of us, please join us in our pathology.
A poem by Emily Ann
Recently, I’ve been spending a lot of time reading about outer space, mindfulness, and rumination.
My dear friend, Emily Ann, wrote this poem during the pandemic that lives at the intersection of all of those things. It captures what it means to feel like you’re floating in orbit. I hope it resonates with you as much as it did with me!
— Dom
The world on pause long enough for you to ruminate in the stillness When dust floats in the air it swirls for a single moment, before making its downward descent Like a dancer suddenly hit with slow motion, her face turned upward, legs outstretched, gaze on a wishing star, still confident her feet will touch back to earth, not yet realizing she's drifting alongside Major Tom You were a version, touched for the very first time A you before the you now, before each day became another rock on an unprecedented mountain Before our four walls shrunk to the size of our phone screen Before we lost our four walls A silence pressed against your chest like the heat of a desert's 2 o'clock sun The click of community's off switch Sitting on the floor of your bedroom, back pressed against the mattress Unable to tell if the windows were open or closed Who are you without distraction? Without a schedule overflowing with commitments because if you're running you don't have to wait for yourself to catch up Because processing the emotions of a tipsy purple-haired musician fighting with heartbreak is less laborious than dissecting your own Finding solace in vodka rather than refuge in your chest A lit cigarette teetering between chipped nail polish You take another drag wondering how many hours of your life you just puffed into outer space When cigarette smoke mingles in the stratosphere do the many lives the toxins have taken mock the new mistakes they oversee? Eternal rowing on a glass bottom boat Are we all destined to be commentators in a spectating peanut gallery? In another world your rose-tinted irises close with the peace of a human who still believes bliss comes from ignorance Falling asleep to the white static of ground control… — Emily Ann
If you like David Bowie, poetry, or good people, you should connect with her on Instagram or Goodreads.
Dom & Joel are grateful
By Dom & Joel
In a way, Happy Medium Club was inspired by Joel & Sam’s wedding.
It was a beautiful wedding. Everyone could see Joel and Sam’s excitement projecting from their smiles. People laughed, people danced. Dom overshared about his personal life in his best man speech. Joel ripped his pants on the dance floor. Sam broke the sound barrier with her smile. Dispositions were sweet. The vibes were immaculate. Everybody was happy.
Too happy.
As Joel and Sam drove away in their honeymoon getaway car, Dom knew he had to develop a fresh strategy to tether himself to Joel and Sam’s life to prevent them from FORGETTING ABOUT HIM WHILE THEY BUILD A BEAUTIFUL LIFE. So he asked Joel if he’d be interested in starting a newsletter together.
Joel said yes within a millisecond (mission accomplished). They looped Sam into the conversation who immediately volunteered to drive the creation direction (mission accomplished again).
And Sam also came up with the name Happy Medium Club. Surprise mission accomplished!!!
It’s possible Joel and Sam were the ones scheming to further integrate Dom into their lives. Perhaps, Joel planted the idea of a newsletter into Dom’s head because Joel had a suspiciously clear vision ready to go:
“It’s just for fun.”
The Essence of Happy Medium Club
Happy Medium Club is an outlet to write about whatever we want, for no reason, and with no objective. It’s just for fun. There is no strategy, there are no objectives, and there is only one rule.
The #1 Rule For Happy Medium Club: Happy Medium Club should be a source of happiness. If it becomes anything otherwise, it is mandatory for the impacted stakeholder(s) to take a step back until it is in their best interest—regarding their state of happiness—to return.
If we’re too busy to meet a deadline, or if we’re stressed about something, or if we’re bored—we just pause. Because we’re doing this for fun. That’s the rule. Fun is the only benchmark.
Which means it’s been a resounding success.
Dom & Joel are grateful, famously.
Dom (on behalf of Joel) and Joel (on behalf of Dom) would like to express gratitude to the universe and a few of its inhabitants.
To the readers, thanks for taking the time to engage with our musings. Seriously, it means so much.
To our contributors and collaborators, just know that Dom would die for you. Joel might die for you too, but probably not because he just got married.
To Ethan and Kyle, what the heck you did not have to go so hard with the art direction. Incredible.
To Iyanu, you’re a muse, editor, agent of chaos, and [redacted].
To Sam, you are an EGOT. You are sunshine. You are the President and the Governor. You are cool and nice. You are an artist. You are an icon. You are a legend. You are the moment. Come on now.
And to all of the above, thank you for helping make HMC a source of happiness for us. We hope it’s been a source of happiness for you as well.
See You Soon
We’re taking a tiny little break for a tiny little bit. But we’ll be back soon. And we’ll probably share a few chaotic updates on Instagram in the meantime. Subscribe if you don’t want to miss our first post-hiatus volume.
Again, thank you for being a friend. We really like you. Now go drink some water and have a great day.
