Hello, citizens of the earth! Thanks for letting us exist near you.
Here’s a quick look at HMC: Volume 11:
An apology to Moose
Say hello to The National Basketball Association
A hot take regarding corporate worship music
A definitive list of the best plants
A cold brew coffee recipe from our friend Greg
A few people mentioned they didn’t like Dom’s diss track about Joel and Sam’s new dog Moose (as seen in Happy Medium Club: Volume 10). If you’d like to express your concern as well, please click the “share” button below.
On that note, Dom would like to apologize for speaking negatively about Mouse, which is why he asked ChatGPT to draft an apology. 👇
A Notes app apology
By ChatGPT
Dear [Friend's Name],
I just wanted to reach out and express my sincerest apologies for the post I wrote about your dog. It was completely out of line and completely inappropriate. I was feeling frustrated at the time, and I took it out on your furry friend in a way that was not only mean but also hurtful.
I am so sorry that I betrayed your trust and hurt you in such a deep way. Your dog means the world to you, and I should have respected that and never written anything negative about them. My actions were thoughtless and hurtful, and I deeply regret that I caused you so much pain.
Please know that I have taken down the post, and I am making a conscious effort to be more mindful of the things I write and how they may impact others. I value our friendship more than anything, and I hope that you can forgive me for this mistake.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
Back to the NBA
It’s NBA time.
By Joel
It’s the beginning of March, the all-star break finished and teams are trying to plan their next moves.
The teams tanking aren’t looking for much more than experimenting with line-ups.
The teams holding on to play-in hopes are tightening up their ship in hopes to make a final push
And the teams at the top of the standings are girding their loins for the long haul.
For me, it’s time to go all in and make up for the 6 months I was sorta following the league through my favorite podcasts.
It seems everyone is talking about KDs move to the Suns, Kyrie-Luka in Dallas, and are the Lakers good enough to make a push.
Kevin Durant joins the Suns.
Kevin Durant, joining Devin Booker seems to be unfair, but the Suns traded away some of their depth… so does it matter? Having two top-10 players on the same team is generally enough except when it isn’t…. Nets.
I bet the Suns add a few helpful players on the buyout market to add to their rotation. If KD stays healthy, he's still a top player and makes any team a threat to win a championship. I hope he stays healthy!
Kyrie and Luka in Dallas!
Kyrie and Luka on the Dallas Mavericks look like the next coming of Lebron and Kyrie. This means a couple of Finals appearances if Mark Cuban can keep Kyrie in Dallas.
I'm excited to see more of them, Luka and Jalen punked the Suns last year.
I can only imagine what Luka and Kyrie can do together. This feels very much like KD joining the Suns, but Luka is different than Kevin, and I think this will be a better experiment.
Will the Lakers make a push?
Lastly, and this is mostly for me, the Lakers.
No more Westbrook, a healthy Anthony Davis (fingers crossed), and new additions in Rui Hachimora, Vanderbilt, Beasley, and D'Angelo Russell have improved the spacing in Los Angeles.
Is this going to be enough? Is this enough to get Lebron to play every night and keep him focused? I sure do hope so!
I think this will excite Lebron enough to get things going. What they really need is for AD to stay healthy and show that he can be the guy. Which is what we've all wanted for his entire career. I think they're play-in-bound if they stay healthy.
^ I wrote that the week before Lebron suffered his foot injury. The injury makes the road to play-in even harder.
AD has to show up and lead the new Lakers into the play-in sun. AD needs to find the DOG in him and let ‘em out. AD needs to remind the world of the man he used to be in New Orleans, the same man for which teams were trading tons of draft picks and young blooming talent. He has to prove he’s worth a max contract.
With a new team makeup, the Lakers have a lot to prove. I think the team can make it to the play-in, with OKC Thunder entering tanking protocol for the highly coveted Victor Wembanyama.
Football is over, but now the NBA gets fun.
The best plants in the world
“A definitive list.”
By Dom
Plants are cool and I like them. I suppose it runs in the family—my mom, AKA The Planterizer—has about 350 houseplants. And my dad, AKA Farmer Brown, can grow a vegetable garden out of rocks (basically).
Plants rock!!!
Luckily, it's estimated that there are between 300,000 and 400,000 plant species in the world. And we discover new species every day. With such a large number of plants to choose from, you would think it’d be difficult for me narrow down a list of the best plants in the world.
It was not difficult at all. Here’s a definitive list of the best plants in the world.
Pando
Pando is so freaking incredible. I heard about Pando while reading “Ways of Being” by James Bridle. It’s one of the most impactful books I’ve ever read. Bridle challenges the reader to reconsider their perspective on non-human intelligence.
Are plants intelligent, Bridle asks? Yes, they are.
Just look at Pando, also known as the Trembling Giant. Pando is one of the oldest living organisms in the world. At first glance, you might consider Pando to be a forest. Do not be fooled! PANDO IS ONE ORGANISM!!!!
Technically, Pando is a cluster of quaking aspen trees covering almost 106 acres in Utah. Biologically speaking, Pando is a clonal colony, or a group of plants connected by a network of underground roots, also known as rhizomes. The plants in a clonal colony are all descendants of the same parent plant and have the same DNA. So, Pando is like one plant—but also many plants.
Sadly, Pando has been in decline in recent years due to human development, grazing by deer and elk, and disease. Scientists are working to preserve this humongous giant for future generations.
Pando is so cool. And I haven’t even begun to talk about its relationship with its neighboring fungus. I’ll spare you the rambles. If you’re interested in learning more, check out this podcast episode from Radiolab. It will make you cry or smile softly.
Figaro
The Planterizer’s prize possession is her fiddle leaf fig. She named him Figaro. I’m not sure how tall he is, but he’s at least 2.5 Planterizers tall.
Fiddle Leaf Figs are beginner-friendly plants that can thrive in a range of lighting conditions, from bright indirect light to low light. They prefer warm and humid environments and should be kept away from cold drafts or sudden temperature changes. When it comes to watering, it's best to let the soil dry out before watering thoroughly. Overwatering can lead to root rot and other problems.
When you put a fiddle leaf fig in the hands of an expert like the Planterizer, it’ll grow unreasonably tall (she had to move it outside because it wouldn’t fit in her kitchen).
She speaks fondly about Figaro. Almost too fondly:
“Strong, but soft. It’s got the shade. It’s got the protection you need. You can go hide in a fiddle. If somebody told me I had to get rid of all my plants and I could only keep one, it would be that fiddle.”
But…I get it.
Honorable Mention: The fiddle leaf fig in my room
I, too, have a “deep-seeded” (hehehe) connection to a fiddle-leaf fig.
I’ve had it for about 2.5 years and it’s a little over four feet tall. But the Planterizer told me it’ll see a growth spurt this year. Here’s to hoping.
Magnolias in general
I like magnolias because they smell good and they are pretty. I’ve always associated magnolias with the start of spring, my neighborhood would shbloom with pink flowers during the first few weeks of April.
The Magnolia's most famous feature is its large, fragrant flowers, which come in a range of colors from white to pink to purple. The flowers are often cup-shaped and have multiple petals that give them a lush and full appearance. The Magnolia blooms in the spring and early summer, depending on the species and climate. The flowers are followed by cone-shaped fruit that ripens in the fall and winter.
The magnolia is a verse queen. In Chinese traditional medicine, Magnolia is used to treat anxiety and other ailments. Some species, such as the Southern Magnolia, are also used as timber trees for their strong and durable wood. Overall, Magnolias are stunning and I like them.
The San Pedro cactus
The San Pedro cactus, also known as Echinopsis pachanoi, is a columnar cactus native to the Andes Mountains in South America.
It has been used for centuries by indigenous peoples in Peru and Ecuador for its psychoactive properties. Today, it's a popular ornamental plant for its striking appearance and easy-to-care-for nature.
That is all I will say on the matter.
The Variegated Monstera in my mom’s bathroom
Variegated Monstera, also known as Monstera deliciosa 'Variegata', is a stunning houseplant prized for its unique foliage. Unlike its green counterpart, the Variegated Monstera has leaves with creamy-white variegation that creates a striking contrast against the deep green color of the rest of the leaf.
The Variegated Monstera is a rare and sought-after plant that can be difficult to find. Naturally, the Planterizer has about ten of them—including this big boy in her bathroom.
The Hawaiian pothos in my mom’s laundry room
Hawaiian Pothos, also known as Epipremnum pinnatum 'Cebu Blue', is a stunning variety of pothos that is native to the Philippines. This tropical plant is highly sought after by plant collectors for its unique blue-green foliage that resembles the color of the ocean. The leaves are HUGE and heart-shaped, with a glossy texture.
My mom had one a few months ago but she KILLED IT. If you’re an aspiring planterizer, take solace in the fact that even the Original Planterizer herself still kills plants.
In fact, every time I learn that Jo Ann “The Planterizer” Johnson has killed a plant, I smile. It doesn’t happen often but it happens.
Anyways, she recently got a new one and I hope this one lives. Stay tuned.
All varieties of pothos
Real talk—if you want to fill your home with lush green plants, but you’re afraid of killing innocent organisms, you should check out regular degular Pothos plants. They are so resilient.
One of the reasons why pothos plants are so easy for beginners to care for is their adaptability to different lighting conditions. They can thrive in low light or bright, indirect light, making them an ideal choice for various areas of the home. They also tolerate a wide range of temperatures, so they can be kept in most indoor environments.
One time, I forgot to water my pothos for like two and a half months. It was in rough shape, but it bounced back after I resumed its regular watering schedule.
Not only are they tough, but they’re also so attractive. These plants are native to the Solomon Islands in the South Pacific and are known for their attractive heart-shaped leaves and trailing vines that can grow up to 10 feet long.
Another advantage of pothos plants is that they don't require frequent watering. They can tolerate occasional periods of drought, making them a low-maintenance option for those who don't have a lot of time to dedicate to plant care.
Unfortunately, they’re toxic to cats and dogs. Plant with care!
The Roses in Alexander Chee’s essay “The Rosary”
The “Rosary” by Alexander Chee is one of my favorite essays of all time and helped ignite my passion for creative nonfiction.
In the essay, Chee invites readers to follow along as he cultivates a garden of roses in his backyard. After years of contending with the garden and learning a handful of life lessons from the thorny little things, we’re left with a question: who is gardening whom?
Here’s an excerpt:
In the third year, when it finally buds, I feel forgiven. Thick clouds of teacup-size pink blossoms appear. My neighbor stares. “They’re so beautiful,” she says. “What did you do?”
I shrug. I do not feel at all responsible.
Read “The Rosary” in The New Yorker and let me know what you think.
Conclusion
These are the best plants in the world. My world, at least!
Is corporate worship music emotionally manipulative?
“I mean, this is true.”
By Joel
I grew up in a small church with a poor sound system, but the congregants sang and played their hearts out despite the equipment. There were no flashy lights and hardly enough microphones, but they loved worshiping the Lord.
In college, I experienced a different kind of worship with grand stages, light shows, smoke, and huge LED screens.
Some people have beef with the whole program. Corporate worship refers to occasions when faith communities (Christian, in this context) gather to collectively sing worship songs. It typically involves additional forms of expression, such as prayer, Scripture reading, and preaching.
I get it — it’s weird in a way. Some people say that corporate worship aims to create an emotionally charged moment, manipulating people to feel something. I mean, this is true.
Lights or not, the whole purpose of worship is to shift the focus from oneself to God.
More importantly, all music, live or recorded in a studio, is low-key manipulative by the same standard. Artists want people to feel something when people listen to their music.
Sure, maybe you don't feel anything when you listen to Drake’s “Marvin's Room,” but lots of other people do. Sheesh, Kid Cudi’s hums get people through hard times. Lol, Travis Scott's songs help kids get through depressive episodes.
I know Taylor Swift is going to create an amazing environment for her upcoming tour and I will be there gladly accepting whatever she is serving!
My point is, music is meant to make people feel something. It opens a portal to someone’s life, grief, pain, and joy. I think this is what corporate worship is supposed to feel like.
And I know there's always a selfish human element to it all so I get if you have beef with it.
You don't have to enjoy corporate worship. I'm not trying to heal your church hurt, or get you back into the church. Church is a weird-ass place.
Greg Brown’s Cold Brew Recipe
Finally, a cup of cold brew that doesn’t launch me into a panic attack.
By Dom
Our friend
(of ) shared a solid cold brew recipe. It's super easy and customizable.Here it is:
Use good beans. I go with a medium roast.
Medium grind, a bit bigger than sugar in the raw. (I use about 3/4 cup of beans, pre-grind).
Pour it into a big ball jar type thing.
Add cold filtered water (i use a little over 4 cups)
Stir.
Set it in the fridge for 24 hrs.
Take it out and stir/mix occasionally.
After time, filter it. I just use a coffee filter in my Chemex).
I love cold brew, but it typically causes my heart to race and instills a sense of existential dread. With Greg’s recipe, I can control exactly how much dread I want in my iced coffee (minimal dread please). Thanks, Greg!
In addition to doing coffee stuff, Greg follows developments in technology, digital innovation, and internet culture very closely. You should check out Greg’s Newsletter. It’s great. Especially if you’re looking for an answer to the question: “Will technology save the world?” to which Greg responds: “I don’t know let’s find out.”
Happy Bits
Our friend Greg (mentioned above) explains the internet: “…perhaps unsurprisingly, some people are believing everything they see on TikTok. Not dissimilar to the experiences of older generations on Facebook. We’ve learned nothing!”
Giannis Antetokounmpo is proficient at literally dunking on the haters but incapable of figuratively dunking on the haters. PS Dom is in love with him.
Are you watching The Last of Us? You can buy Joel’s grungy, brown, shlubby jacket for only…$268.00. Add to cart.
Thank you for reading! And for being a friend!
Say something nice or mean in the comments.